Will Durst delivers the "true" State of the Union

Jan 26, 2012

Will Durst here, with a few words on Barack Obama's third, and possibly last, State of the Union address. Although it's an election year, the administration went out of its way to reinforce that this was not a campaign speech, just a report on the progress being made. Apparently, the state of the union is pretty much exactly what we thought it was: good, getting better, but not quite great. Oh, it's definitely going to be great someday, because America has been great before and we will be great again soon. How soon? Well, that's the question. Tomorrow? Next month? 2014? It doesn't matter, as long as we stick to the current course and do not slip back into the bad old policies from the past, if you know what I mean. 

The economy is heating up, but that doesn't mean it's hot. It needs to be hotter – as hot as it can get until it's the best hot ever. And then even when it is the best hot ever, can we relax? No, not in America, because that's when we roll up our sleeves and really go to work, not for ourselves, but for our children, and their children, and for our grandchildren's nieces' step-kids.

The country is full of goodness, but we need to maintain a concerted vigil to fight off systemic badness. In essence, what we need is more good and less bad. Some of the things that are good are happy families, secure jobs, a strong defense, and splendid health. What we can do without, thank you very much, are crime, disease, terrorism, and grumpy republicans with the cheery optimism of the great green slime that grows on sunken cave ceilings.

All I can say is, "Thank God this wasn't a campaign speech."

Will Durst is a political comedian living in the Bay Area. He's performing Tuesday nights in February at The Marsh Theater.