2:19pm

Tue May 15, 2012
Politics

Will Durst: "Evoluting fabulously"

A thousand rainbows of congratulations to Barack Obama for bursting out of his own personal policy closet and fabulously proclaiming he believes “same sex couples should be able to get married.” He explained he was slow in coming to this conclusion because his thoughts had evolved over time. And this was no slow Darwinian evolution. He spontaneously grew flippers and started walking on dry land, crawling all the way to stand next to Dick Cheney's position. Come to think of it, maybe flippers aren't the only thing Obama grew.

As predictable as a brush bag pitch following a home run, Republicans starting screaming that his move proved him to be a waffler, trying to hid Mitt Romney's 8,000 waffles behind this big one by Obama. Besides, a waffle is when you expediently move to a more popular position to curry votes, meaning this is the opposite of a waffle. More of an "elffaw," which is "waffle" backwards. Rush Limbaugh jumped into the fray and accused Obama of waging a war on marriage – a bit of a mixed message coming from the guy who hired Elton John to sing at his fourth marriage. 

Obama disavowed any move to legalize gay marriage at a federal level, maintaining that it should be a state's decision. Of course interracial marriage was illegal in 16 states until a Supreme Court decision in 1967, and some people consider that an abomination. Guess who's whining about this? Same people. Fine. Let all the gays move to California. We'll take them. Then just try to get your haircut in Mississippi. 

The opinions of Will Durst do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Crosscurrents or KALW.

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