3:14pm

Tue April 3, 2012
Politics

Will Durst: "Obama Care" and the Supreme Court

A few words about the Supreme Court hearing testimony about "Obama Care." Because it's the highest court in the land, we can assume the arguments were solemn, dignified, and incisive...

“Obama Care Sucks!” “Does not.” “Does So.” “Does Not.” Like that, only in elevated lawyer language.

The Supremes, made up of six Catholics and three Jews  (and doesn’t that sound like the dance card at a KKK Lawn Burning Jamboree) are determining the Constitutionality of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. And although no one really expects them to slog through the whole thing (that's why they call them briefs). The bill is 2,400 pages long, or 2,700, they're still not sure. Shouldn't they be sure by now? A lot of stuff can happen in 300 pages. We’ve all read The Hunger Games.

Of course, everybody in the court has health care, as well they should. As well we all should, but they're going to need it. Because anybody trying to slog through that much congressional gobble-dee-gook better have a large supply of prescription drugs on hand. The whole country is waiting on surgical pins and insulin needles to find out what the nine cranky millionaires will do. Just exactly how does a judge become a millionaire? Speaking fees? What about Clarence Thomas?

If they do strike it down, will they just wipe out the individual mandate and pick crumbs and pieces to keep in tact, including denial of coverage of pre-existing conditions? Will the ruling follow the typical liberal-coservative 4-4 split, with a single swing voter being the decision maker? In other words, does the future of American health care really depend on which side of the bed justice Anthony Kennedy wakes up on that fateful day in June? Poor people might want to try and get this guy a date – anything to put him in a good mood.

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