7:58pm

Sun March 3, 2013
Politics

Will Durst: From Pope to "Joe"

A few words here about the recently resigned Pope. (It doesn't matter who you are, that's always going to be at the top of your resume). 

Picking a new Bishop of Rome is guaranteed to throw the Catholic church into a frenzy of hyper drive, which for them means accelerating all the way past erosion right up to snail's pace.

Although, the numbering might have been sketchy during the Dark Ages, it's generally agreed that Pope Benedict XVI was the 265th Pope and the first to resign since Gregory XII stepped down in July of 1415 to head off on a hot weekend with his brother in law's massuese's blacksmith's son in Sardinia. The Vatican announced the former Pope will henceforth be known as Pontiff Emeritus, since he no longer is Benedict and nobody really expects a former member of Hitler Youth to answer to "Hey, Ratsinger!" anymore. 

Joseph claims the only reason he joined the baby Nazis was because he was forced to do it while young, but never really bought into the ideology -- which is totally understandable since a lot of us have the same relationship with the Catholic church. The college of Cardinals say the past post-Pontiff still gets to stay at the Vatican, which could prove to be a bit intimidating, should the former Vicar Christ ever decide to step out on a date in the future. I mean, it's one thing to have someone's parents hanging around, but 300 guys in dresses chanting and praying 24 hours a day? Less welcome than a tornado in a trailer court. 

The big question is: what does he do now? Right a book? Become spokesman for a line of red loafers? Perhaps consult for another faith? Although, he's probably got a non capite. Maybe he can make the rounds of the interview circuit - "So, Joe, how's it feel to be feel to be fallible again?"

The opinions of Will Durst do not represent the opinions of KALW or Crosscurrents. 

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