5:24pm

Fri September 21, 2012
Politics

Will Durst: Worst election campaign ever?

I'm worried about Mitt Romney. The guy just might be running the worst campaign ever. And yes, that includes the print ads for organic hemp underwear, not to mention McCain/Palin in '08, which currently holds the gold standard for lousy campaigns. 

But we're talking bad at a whole new level here. Bad like a dumpster behind a fish market during a garbage strike bad. Bad like a $3 Avengers DVD bought off a cardboard table in Times Square with Russian subtitles bad. Bad like Todd Akin at a NARAL benefit bad.

And every time the former governor of Massachusetts opens his mouth, it gets worse. He's tone deaf, tongue tied, logically challenged, and as approachable as a nearsighted porcupine in heat. So uncomfortable around real people, you can practically hear him whispering, "Icky, icky, icky," under his breath while shaking hands at rallies. You know there's an aid with a bottle of Purell hand sanitizer waiting for him on the bus. Maybe even a 55-gallon drum connected to a showerhead.

He calls 47 percent of America moochers and malingerers. Now the major problem with insulting 47 percent of the public is that at least 58 percent of them worry they're a part of that 47 percent. Maybe it's the extra-large silver spoon in his mouth that keeps him from seeing the view from the middle class. Can't understand why they just don't pull themselves up by their bootstraps like he did when his daddy loaned him his first million. 

Face it, if Bain Capital were running this thing, they'd close it down, fire him, and hire some Chinese guy to do it cheaper and better. 

The opinions of Will Durst do not reflect the opinions of Crosscurrents or KALW.

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