12:08pm

Mon November 11, 2013
Politics

Will Durst: Zero Hero

Note: Will Durst is a comedian and you may find some of his material offensive, or worse, not funny. His views do not necessarily reflect those of KALW.

Hey guys,

Will Durst here with a few choice words about the liberal exodus off the presidential bandwagon - which is approaching klaxon fire drill evacuation levels.

Even inside his own party there seems to be a few questions about Obama's leadership skills, which according to some, is similar to Paula Deen Apollo Theater bookings. It splits up into three camps: the side of the party that's a little to the left of Fidel - who will never be happy until he twitches his nose and world peace and an end to planetary hunger both break out. Simultaneously. The centrists, who don't understand why everyone is so mad at the president; after all he hasn't done anything. And, Joe Biden.

But really, it's not Obama's fault. Progressives initially hailed him as one of their own because, well, compared to George W. Bush Cardinal Richelieu would have seemed progressive. But in truth, Barack was always a middle of the road kind of guy. A facilitator, who brought people together. Of course the only way to bring the squabbling children inside of today's beltway together is through the use of a wind tunnel, fire hose, and 55 gallon drum of industrial strength glue.

You don't send a constitutional lawyer into the Wrangler National Rodeo finals and expect him to come out wearing the Champion Bullrider trophy buckle. But after dithering on Syria, and the disastrous Obamacare website rollout, Democrats are falling off his presidential bus faster than milk sours in Mexico. Fall off? Jumping off! Like Maui sunbathers at a stop sign next to a complimentary sand-outta-your-butt spatula stand. But you can never count this guy out. No matter what you think of Obama's policies, you've got to admire his not to get involved in 'em. He himself would tell you he's the opposite of a super hero: a zero hero. Who else could make Joe Biden look presidential? And who knows? Maybe that's the plan. 

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