Tagged: Will Durst

A thousand rainbows of congratulations to Barack Obama for bursting out of his own personal policy closet and fabulously proclaiming he believes “same sex couples should be able to get married.” He explained he was slow in coming to this conclusion because his thoughts had evolved over time. And this was no slow Darwinian evolution. He spontaneously grew flippers and started walking on dry land, crawling all the way to stand next to Dick Cheney's position. Come to think of it, maybe flippers aren't the only thing Obama grew.

It’s once again time to play that quadrennial game sensation sweeping the nation: Guess the Vice Presidential Pick!

Since Mitt Romney has sewed up the Republican nomination tighter than one of Chris Christie’s old suits, the only drama left is which name the former governor of Massachusetts intends to place on the bottom of his bumper sticker. So let's look at the field of potential running mates. We'll start with the vanquished competition.

First off, Ron Paul: 1,000 to 1. Less chance than a snail hauling a piano has of qualifying for the 100-meter dash at the London Summer Olympics.

Newt Gingrich: Same thing, only the snail is dead.

Now that the general election has unofficially begun, you and I and pretty much everybody dear to us, except for Kansas City Royals fans, are about to be buried under a blizzard of polls.

Because of their ongoing research, campaigns are prepared to pivot like kid with a coupon in a candy store, based on which group of potential voters likes which message best. And this time around, the focus of pollsters is something called "microdemographics" – small groups. These are tinier tastes, which can be more easily targeted. For instance, much has been made – and rightfully so – of President Barack Obama's commanding lead over Mitt Romney amongst men whose elder brothers entered the military after getting remarried in June.