Disregard the almanac. And the calendar. Forget whatever the meteorologist or the astrology charts or your next-door neighbor with the hair growing out of a mole shaped like the state of Delaware on his nose told you. The true wormhole opening to summer is not the upcoming solstice on Wednesday, June 20th – it is, has been, and forever shall be the last Monday of May, Memorial Day.
A thousand rainbows of congratulations to Barack Obama for bursting out of his own personal policy closet and fabulously proclaiming he believes “same sex couples should be able to get married.” He explained he was slow in coming to this conclusion because his thoughts had evolved over time. And this was no slow Darwinian evolution. He spontaneously grew flippers and started walking on dry land, crawling all the way to stand next to Dick Cheney's position. Come to think of it, maybe flippers aren't the only thing Obama grew.
It’s once again time to play that quadrennial game sensation sweeping the nation: Guess the Vice Presidential Pick!
Since Mitt Romney has sewed up the Republican nomination tighter than one of Chris Christie’s old suits, the only drama left is which name the former governor of Massachusetts intends to place on the bottom of his bumper sticker. So let's look at the field of potential running mates. We'll start with the vanquished competition.
Remember when his own staffers said Mitt Romney had the conviction of an Etch-A-Sketch? Well stand back because, as we speak, the former governor from Massachussetts is being flipped over and shaken so hard, the fillings in the back teeth of his whole family are starting to rattle. What this all means is that we're entering the general election mode. So anything Mitt Romney might have said during the primary no longer applies.